Due to the severity of his first ever self-esteem crisis brought on by a pending separation and divorce from his first wife of 10 years he was in serious, serious danger of not being able to manage this transition successfully.
Joshua (name changed for confidential reasons) ok'd the use of his "story" as sample of becomming the manager of your own psychological growth and development. This is something Joshua believes in very strongly and as his story unfolds you will see ONE example of what is meant at RAISE when we talk about becomming your own intellectual bodyguard/manager of your own self's psychological growth and development. You cannot leave this up to someone else.
We are complicated psychological "stories" and in a sense there is too much about us for anyone other-than ourselves to figure out: though we wear our psyche like a shirt, it is a complicated shirt. Only we can identify and integrate all the data about ourselves. Only we can spend the amount of time thinking about the self that is required to figure the self out. There is "tons" of "self" as well as "other" help out there in the world at large and a big part of it can be put to good, selfish use if the self doing the using has an extremely strong philosophical/psychological protector. There is none stronger than the Philosophy of Objectivism and the Psychology of Biocentric Psychology. If you disagree I challenge you to read Joshua's (unfolding) story and then (still) argue that you can let somebody else do your thinking for you.
Joshua:: Why can't I let somebody else do my thinking for me? Obviously not in all areas but why not in some areas. Like here in this therapist - client setting. Why can't I let you do my thinking for me. Actually, fact is I can.
Therapist: True you can, but by saying you can't I mean you shouldn't. Of course you can but you cannot do it without ending up suicide fodder for some empty-headed guru who after years of "thinking" about it, concludes that death should be an object of worship.
[therapist pausing to think, because he absolutely loves thinking and because he thinks he detects a misplaced hero worship in Joshua that is dying to be properly placed...continues on here with a calculated, albeit temporary shift in his manner: he purposely proceeds as if he were the flesh and bone concretization of some fictional super hero out of an Ayn Rand novel]
"As to the guru's actual 'thoughts' about life... he has none", says the Therapist, "or at least he has none that are worth anything because the 'holes' in the fabric of his psyche --big holes now", continues the Therapist as he forms his right index finger and thumb into the shape of a big 'O', "that started", he says dropping his right arm and raising his left with its index finger and thumb pinched together to form a teeny-tiny gap, "that started as teeny-tiny pin-holes from a multitude of topics" --and here the therapist throws up his hands as if he had a box full of pre-cut styrofoam words that he was tossing into the air: religion... physics... science... philosophy... metaphysics-- "each starting with the same premise that the nothingness of non-existence is the same or greater than the some-thing-ness of actual existence-- have grown so much that --like the rags on a bum in the street-- they (the "holes") now occupy more space than the cloth does so that the shirt no longer works as a shirt."
Joshua: Are you saying that you can call some of these guru's hole-y men?
Therapist:(laughs) Yes, I guess I am.
Joshua: Are you also telling me that I should think of my "psyche" as if it were a shirt that I wear? And if you are, aren't you telling me how to think?
Therapist: No one can tell you how to think. Thinking is as natural as breathing. No one tells you "how to breath". But they can tell you how to breath deeper, how to breath consciously. Similarily others can tell you "how to use your thinking ability".
Joshua: What do you mean?
Therapist: They can tell you how to reason.
Joshua: Look it. I know how to reason. I've studied Objectivism and I know all about reason: reason is the faculty that identifies and integrates the facts of reality perceived by the senses.
Therapist: Then why are you here?
Joshua: (pausing long enough to let thought #1 go by and then thought #2 finally speaks) I'm here to save my marriage.
Therapist: (contemplating the pauses) Bullshit.
Joshua: (looking absolutely crushed and then pausing long enough to look over to his wife for help and to let thought #1 go by again, speaks for the second time as Nicole remains silent.) I'm here to help Nicole with her problems. She said she wanted to go to a therapist so here we are.
(PSYCHOLOGY/The Joshua File)